Borussia Dortmund Banned Vuvuzela

Bundesliga side Borussia Dortmund have taken a positive step to keep the Westfalenstadion free from the moronic drone of the vuvuzela next season, by banning supporter’s from entering the arena with the South African trumpets.

The monotonous rumble of the plastic horns has accompanied every single World Cup game so far, driving many hundreds of supporters to the mute button or, if unlucky enough to actually secure themselves match tickets, then cotton wools.

Vuvuzela’s have already been banned from many public events in Germany, due to the inherent health risks (Tinnitus, nose-bleeds, complete Catatonia) being directly linked to the ‘instrument’ – although Dortmund are the first football club to officially outlaw them.

So said Hans-Joachim Watzke, general manager of the Bundesliga outfit;

“Our fans don’t want to have these trumpets, it is nerve-racking and completely drowns out any chanting. We have decided as a work group at Borussia Dortmund that these horrid things will be forbidden from the Westfalenstadion. Anybody who does not abide by this will face the consequences.”

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